Sometimes I forget who I am. Sometimes I need someone else to remind me, who I am, what I know. It can be hard for all of us and I think especially for those who hold space for others. When you get in a place that you can’t even hold space for yourself, how in the world are you supposed to hold it for others?
This morning I went to my Chiro (who is a Merlin-type magician btw) and he made this analogy about moving forward. If you are walking and come to a cliff and you continue forward you will step off the cliff. Or, if you are walking and come to a cliff and you make a decision to turn around and walk the other direction, aren’t you still moving forward but haven’t stepped off the cliff? Well now.
During times of cosmic upheaval and times of personal growth we are all confronted with whatever it is that is ready to go. Whatever doesn’t serve us anymore demands to be seen. Rather than digging and digging and trying to FINALLY resolve something that will not be resolved, step away. Continue to walk forward but in another direction. I don’t mean ‘ignore it and it will go away’, that doesn’t work. Simply focus elsewhere because what you focus on grows. So Focus on your light. Rather than push against it, dig at it, resist it, just let it be. Focus on your light because when you do that no darkness can triumph. No negativity can reside within you. Focus on your light and just let the rest be as it is. Let your light ease the resistance, let it hold you instead of pushing back, let it help you shift your perception to being whole and held instead of focusing on what is not or should be. Move out of seeing the negative space and see only light, your light. It will resolve itself one way or another. Repeat that “This will resolve itself”. The best thing you can do for YOU is to continue to walk forward. Aho
Ah, Mercury Retrograde I welcome thee. Bringeth thy rest, thy regrouping, thy formidable look into my own darkness. Thy intense stare into my own special ways of eloquently and elaborately mucking up my own existence. Yep, this is how I see Mercury Retrograde. It is my ally, my homie, my partner, a window into my own worst enemy and my own strongest and bravest ally.
Let’s just say I am learning to make the most of what the majority of the metaphysical world sees as a cosmic catastrophe. It assists, no insists that I look deep into myself, my behaviors, my shortcomings, my inability to resolve my own crap. I love it (she says with a gritted grin). Not only does it interrupt communication in the form of electronics, contracts, forward progression (allowing you a cosmic interlude to breathe), it also shows you ‘in your face’ how you communicate with others as well as yourself. It’s a ‘you’re not getting away with this anymore’ kind of event and whether you like it or not it’s here until it gets done with you. This my friends is a moment of truth. A moment of potential growth. An ‘aha’ moment of the most cosmic kind.
Right now we have 5 planets in retrograde, each playing off of each other and in a way, supporting each other in your moment of insight. Mercury; communication. Jupiter; Personal expansion/transformation. Pluto; love and relationships. Mars; emotions/anger, passion and aggression. Saturn; karma. Here’s the breakdown, are you feeling like every one of these is amplified for you? You should because they are. You might possibly feel like all these aspects in your life are coming to a head all at once and you are drowning in an emotional bath. You should, because you are. All of your crap, your unhealthy, stuck and ugly places that make you want to turn away from yourself are now in front of you denying to be denied.
With that now exposed and raw cosmic travelers, all of your beautiful, healthy, expanded and transformed places are also showing their bright, shiny, loving faces to you. Where you are beautiful, kind and direct in your communication. Where you are in control of your emotions. Where and how much you have grown in the past decade or year or week. It’s all there beautiful soul. It’s all there for you to see, appreciate, honor, clear, be in gratitude and love. You are a work in progress. And this is a never ending progress, remember that. When you stop learning you stop growing. When you have nothing else to learn, well your time here is done.
Open your arms. Open your heart. Open your mind and your eyes. Let this auspicious moment in cosmic history and in your life support you. Take a moment, take the time you have been given during this retrograde and look. Look at yourself, see where you want to shift. Be open, be brave, do not be afraid to see who you are and who you can be. Love yourself right now in this moment, good, not so good and ready to shift, self. Love all of it. All of you. ALL. It’s about the experience here. It’s about learning. It’s about being prepared and courageous to step out there when the opportunity presents itself. This is your time. Make it whatever it’s meant to be just for you this time around. It doesn’t mean you have to do it all, it’s simply an opportunity. Just look. Just honor. Appreciate. Just be and be in love with that. Remember, You are Spirit Supported and You are Cosmically Charged. Run with it.
You have been on my mind so much lately. You are always on my mind because you are of my Soul Pod, my Soul Tribe, my Sister. More so lately because of your illness, because I am constantly asking my Helping Spirits to come to you, to bring you what you need. And while my Guides told you up front how it would go, you chose your own path which has always been your nature, one of the things I love most about you.
For the past few days you have come to me in spirit asking only for singing and rattling. I want so desperately to work on you, to do healing on you but you aren’t allowing it. It’s not that time anymore you tell me. Just comfort. Just ease. Just love. The chanting and singing in my head never stops and when I am alone I can bring it out fully with my voice. These moments are when we are the closest, when I feel your presence, when I can feel your joy, your comfort and your love. You are finally receiving, how ironic is that. Fully and totally without resistance you have stepped into that place between our worlds. Partly here and partly there and I find myself finding comfort in this place with you.
I woke this morning with an overwhelming grief and have not been able to do anything today but weep. This morning I was asked by my Guides to create a ‘Death Rattle’. I will be guided with the paint and the symbols that bring it to life. It’s purpose is not to bring death, not to ward it off but to honor it. To bring life to it. To bring ceremony and beauty to it. To create a tool for the living and the transitioning to be together in these beautiful moments. This collaboration between you and I feels so powerful, so sacred. Yes, this is between You and I, you are bringing this into being. Bringing something forward that gives Me comfort, release, somewhere I can place my grief, my deep and utter sadness.
My Guides also asked me to do ‘grief dancing’. This movement of my grief and yours, the connection to your spirit, feeling it and letting it move through my bod,y this is to heal us both. Set us free. Help us see beyond this moment.
As I was wandering aimlessly this morning I stepped on one of my shamanic rattles. It broke into dozens of pieces and the seeds inside spilled out. I looked at it in disbelief, how could this have happened? It was in so many pieces it could not be repaired and the seeds that spilled out spoke to me, yes life will continue. Maybe not through you or me but it will. Something broke in that moment, something split within me. The Universe cracked open and I could see inside. All is as it should be.
I don’t know what this world will be like without you as I don’t remember a time when you weren’t here.My heart aches for you, it aches for me, it aches for our other sisters and for all of our daughters.Our worlds will soon be forever changed. A lifetime of building is about to come to an end far too early for all of us.
I love you deeply and for many lifetimes. I miss you already.
Bodywork. Bodywork comes in many forms. Massage Therapy, Reiki, Intuitive or Energetic Healing, Shamanic Healing, just to name a few. If done correctly, any form of bodywork or energy work will create a thread of healing in your body and field that will continue long after your session.
One session is wonderful. However, if you are consistent, if you have regular and frequent sessions over a period of time, wonderful things can happen. These are just a few things that may happen for you;
- Your relationships may improve
- The natural aging process will slow down for you
- You may lose weight
- Your health may improve as well as well as concious eating
- You will begin to eliminate negativity from your life
- You will begin to dissolve unhealthy relationships
- You will lose or decrease the need for chemical dependency (alcohol, over the counter drugs, illegal drugs)
- You will begin to learn how to set boundaries, speak up for yourself in fairness
- You will begin to allow others to work on themselves and create their own healthy boundaries
- You will lose the need to fix everyone
- You will stop taking responsibility for other people and their actions and behaviors
- You will, without hesitation, learn to take responsibility for yourself
- You will respect and honor yourself
- Your sleep will improve
- Your general state of happiness and attitude will improve
- Chronic pain may decrease or disappear completely
- You will, without a doubt, nurture a deep unwavering love for yourself
This is not a complete list but these alone are pretty powerful. How does this work? Well, some of it is scientific, physiological and some of it is about self-care. Loving YOU is a powerful thing. It can and will transform the most dire situations. The energetic or spiritual implications of caring for YOU cannot be measured by our normal human standards. It goes far beyond our human-ness, it touches a soul level within us. It will heal your soul.
When you start caring for yourself you learn who you are in the big picture. How important you are, how you impact others and the world. Then there is the issue of trust. When you put yourself in the hands of a bodyworker, you must trust. You must trust yourself and you must trust the bodyworker. It can be a vulnerable place to be. You have opened yourself to the outcome, put yourself in the hands of the Universe to give you what you have asked for, healing. As bodywork goes, it calms the nervous system. If done correctly it will engage the parasympathetic system which is the calming nervous system. Done frequently enough and you have actually changed the physiology of your body and its responses to day to day life. This in turn reverberates out from you and touches all with whom you come in contact with. It’s like magic. It’s literally the butterfly effect.
Getting in touch with those parts of you that are hurting, that are stuck, that are locked in an unhealthy behavior (even if you are unaware of these parts), This is the beginning. Allowing the healing, the transformation to unfold over time, this is the magic.
Let yourself be freed. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be healthy, whole, happy. Let yourself slowly and beautifully unfold into the beautiful light you came here to be.
Love. Create. Be.
I lived in one city for 40 years. This is where I had my life. I moved there as a teen so during the 40 years I got married, had a child, made friends, got divorced, found my own self and knew that I was safe and in the arms of my tribe. They loved me, supported me, challenged me, grew with and without me. We raised our families together so our children belonged to all of us. We celebrated holidays with our families then with ‘our family’. They were my safest place, they were my Tribe, my Ya-Ya’s.
Then came the economic crash in 2008 and as time wore on, as self-employed entrepreneurs (my partner and I), well let’s just say things got rough. Not impossible but rough. My loved ones also had some huge shifts and families dissolved during this time. Our pets started jumping ship, so to speak, and heartbreak was an everyday state. What could we do? We moved. We sold everything that wasn’t nailed down, packed up the rest, gathered whatever family had no other options but to go with us and moved 1800 miles from our home.
Let me interject here that it was a mixture of emotions. We were moving to a place that we had always secretly and openly wanted to move to and yet the circumstances just made it difficult and scary. No jobs, no prospects but we felt in our hearts this was our sign. That this is what we were supposed to do, so we did. Leaving all of our life as we knew it, behind.
Although we had arrived in a place that I felt was my souls home in this incarnation I also had lost my complete support system, we all had. Some of us fared better than others. Some people are just better able to disconnect like that, and some of us aren’t. I felt stunned. Like I’d been hit in the head with a rock. This surprised me because I was finally in a place I had wanted to be for most of my adult life. It was an adventure which I had also wanted. Why was it so devastating, so terrifying, so lonely.
I felt ungrounded. Or was I overly grounded? Was the geography of this place so intense that I couldn’t find a balance? I tried many ways of rationalizing what I was feeling and the effect it was having on me. I couldn’t find one that stuck other than I missed my tribe, my Ya-Ya’s, my family. I felt alone, I felt disconnected and I felt afraid. Where were the Healers? The movers and shakers in the Etheric world? If I had been relocated so far from my home, what was the purpose? Where was my Tribe I shouted to the Universe ! ?
Where I moved from, my home, I knew everyone. It was easy to build my business, my social life, anything. I knew 10 ways to get anywhere. All was familiar, safe. Here in our new place I realized I couldn’t discern how to get out of the grocery store parking lot and what direction to go in to get home. My wings had been clipped.
As I wallowed in my misery, not knowing what to do to shake this very disturbing state that I was in, something happened. I made a friend. Then she introduced me to more friends. Then it started. Slowly, deliberately, they started showing up. While at first I believed there were absolutely no Healers in this new place, no one that played and worked in the metaphysical world, none that were like me, soon I saw the Tribe. My Tribe. They were everywhere. All around me. I was so stunned. Here they were in abundance. They were beautiful, generous, loving, supportive. Goddesses, Priestesses, Teachers and Students. They sought me out, they welcomed me in, they gave and they chellenged me to offer in return. They were the souls that would accompany and support me in my next big growth spurt. The major shift that was coming in my life. And I would be here to accompany and support them in their growth. How could I have been so wrong? How could I be so lucky? So spiritually supported, so Divinely led.
It’s because I am who I am. Even though I moved in fear, I still moved. Even though I complained, I still showed up. Even though such a short distance of 1800 miles was so vastly different from all I knew, I put myself out there. Even though sometimes I hid, they still found me.
Trust. Believe. Then trust again and believe again. If you feel disconnected from your tribe or feel you just haven’t found them yet just wait. They will show up. They will take you in. They will love you, challenge you, grow with and without you, support you. Gods, Goddessess, Priestesses, Friend, Family, Ya-Ya’s. They will show up. Keep going, keep moving forward even if it feels like you’re moving backwards. Keep being led and most importantly, just believe.
Love. Create. Be.
|What path will you take|
A friend recently introduced me to a blog called ‘The Busy Boycott’. In this blog and her facebook page the author helps you remove the term and the ‘doing’ of busy from your life. She also helps you ‘Be More With Less‘.
It’s an interesting concept and one all of us can benefit from. Her first lesson, or work, is to eliminate the word ‘busy’ from your vocabulary for a week. It seems doable. Or so I thought. As I was sitting down to breakfast yesterday morning I looked up at the clock and said to myself in a whisper ” ok I have to hurry”. WHAT THE ?! Baahhhhh!
As much of a teacher as I see myself to be, offering objective and channeled insight to my clients, I was totally shocked at my behavior and my response. I didn’t even know I was doing that! The second those words left my lips my insides tightened up. Now, how can I enjoy and digest my breakfast with my insides in a knot and my feet ready to sprint? Or be completely present in any moment? I can’t. It’s not possible. What I also realized is that this is something I do every single morning. I fix breakfast, I sit down to eat, I look at the clock, I whisper “ok I have to hurry”, my insides tighten up then I try to enjoy my breakfast. Wow. Am I a slow learner or just completely delusional?
Well I may be a slow ‘bloomer’ but I do learn. I immediately replaced those ridiculous words with “I have enough time to enjoy my breakfast”. It’s a start. It will be interesting tomorrow morning when I am getting ready for work to see if I’m on auto-pilot again or can I be aware. I’m setting my intention for aware.
Love. Create. Be.